For so many years I lived my life driven by emotion. That makes me happy. You tick me off. This just feels "right." I feel pretty comfortable saying I am not the only person who has experienced this or who still does. I am so thankful to share that there is so much more to life than what our emotions tell us.
You may be thinking, what in the world is this crazy lady talking about. Keep reading. I will make my point. I am a women, we use more words. We like to give a little background history on points that we will eventually make. In no way, shape or form am I here to tell you that you are wrong for the way you feel. Feelings and emotions are real. We just need to remember they should not rule us. This is something I did not utilize for a long time....like until I was 30. Ummm, I am only 30 and a half. You get the idea. Don't judge.
I have always considered myself a believer in Christ. Asked Jesus into my life at VBS as a young girl. Did not grow up attending church. Really did not know anything about the bible or God, but always had the yearning to do so. When my husband and I started dating we started attending church together. Little did I know that, that would be the best decision I have ever made. Yes, ever. In September of 2010 Pat and I publically dedicated our lives to be followers of Christ. Being babtized in the river with your church family on the river bank cheering you on is an awesome experience. Little did I know 4 months after being babtized my husband and I would be experiencing the most difficult time in our lives. Seperated with 3 very confused sons, living apart and dealing with out of control emotions.
The one thing Pat and I agreed on was we needed God and our faith more than ever before. So, seperately we sought Chistian counsel, continued attending church (even though it was not together) and I dug into my bible like a hungry lion. These were choices I made, REGARDLESS if I felt like it or not.
During this time I decided that I had to eat, sleep and breath Gods word. In doing so I kept expecting to feel different. Nope, still ticked. Still hurt. This is when it really got tough for me. Emotions can tear you down until you are ready to give up. A couple of words kept haunting me in my sleep, while I was reading my bible, and seeking counsel. Faith and forgiveness. Little did I know faith and forgiveness are not emotions, they are a choices. To have faith or not. To forgive or not.
Well, crap. That is not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to feel it. So, still not willing to throw in the towel on faith and forgiveness I gave it a try. EVERY single day I got out of bed put my trust in God and gave forgiveness where needed. Honestly, there were days I had to do this just about every other hour. Over time it became easier. Over more time, it actually felt right. Key word, T I M E. Not on our time, on His time.
Love and prayers.
PS. We are happily seeking a Godly marriage under the same roof. We give God praise and glory.
2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.
Matt 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
